Podcast 94: How to Stop Self-Sabotaging Patterns
Dec 09, 2021
Self-sabotage will hold you back and stop you from achieving your goals. It can affect any area of your life and it will definitely get in the way of you thriving as a practitioner.
Fear is often behind sabotaging thoughts and behaviours – the good news is, you can change these, and create a thriving mindset that will stop the self-saboteur within.
If you’re not in the place you want to be in your holistic business, it’s time to understand how you could be sabotaging your success, and how to stop.
Awareness of your own sabotaging patterns will allow you to quickly recognise what you’re doing and help you to move on. This is a lesson I learnt first-hand, and there is light at the end of the tunnel, but you do have to be prepared to work on your mindset along the way.
Here’s how you can recognise your sabotaging behaviours
Procrastination
This is where you’re avoiding taking action on the things that are most important. This can show up in ways like getting side-tracked by social media, doing the cleaning, or going out for a coffee. Basically, anything that distracts you from getting stuff done!
I could be a master procrastinator If left unchallenged! When I had a task that scared me and took me out of my comfort zone, I got very ‘busy’. It’s amazing how therapeutic de-cluttering can be, or how it would be great to catch up with a friend, instead of knuckling down and getting my head around the task at hand!
Perfectionism
Perfection is my number one demon and I had to work hard to address it over the years. It’s one of the main reasons I trained in personal development and addressing this has been a game-changer for me.
If you’re a perfectionist, it’s a recipe for never feeling like you’re good enough. You’re trying to do things perfectly so you can’t be judged or criticised, and it ends up keeping you stuck and playing small.
You spend your time constantly going over and over something, tweaking and trying to make it perfect. Or projects never get finished and see the light of day – that way, no one can ever judge them.
Busy badge of honour
Do you keep yourself constantly busy with very little time off? If so, you’re wearing the busy badge of honour and it will have you running around in circles. You’ll do the easy tasks on your list, feeling very ‘busy’ but not being productive. You’ll get side-tracked by the jobs you’ve been considering for ages like cleaning out the
I’ve been guilty of this one too! I’ve always loved a list and realised that when I used to set out my weekly to-do list, I would put the easy things at the top. Crossing them off gave me a feeling of achievement, although sadly I was often working on the wrong things! This meant they got rolled over to the next week, and even the next month, and so it went on.
Putting others needs first
This is a big one because as a practitioner, you care deeply about people!
Do you find you’re constantly running around looking after others needs first? Whilst there are times where you do need to make others your priority, are you using this as a way of avoiding working on your own business?
This is something I often see in my clients, they put everyone before themselves and by the end of the day, they’re on empty. The caring isn’t always for those in their inner circle, it can be for external projects which whilst are a good thing to do, they shouldn’t be at the detriment of their own needs and business.
Daydreaming
Spending way too much time inside your own head, dreaming, wondering and planning how everything will be when your business is flourishing when you’re earning a great income when you get featured in the press, etc.
Whilst you need to have a vision for your business to act as a compass, it’s when the dreaming and planning never lead to action that there is a problem.
Blaming others
Whilst we all need to reflect on what’s happened in the past and learn from it. Constantly thinking about why things went wrong and who was responsible for it won’t move you forward in your life and business.
If you’re stuck in this pattern, it will keep you feeling frustrated, sad, and even angry which is going to take a lot of your energy and focus away from creating a better future.
Is it time to make peace, let it go and move on?
Laziness
There are always jobs in our business we’d rather not do – I call these the necessary evils. For me this is anything IT related – I hate it when tech isn’t behaving in the way I think it should – argh!
This for you could show up as leaving things until they are absolutely desperate and you have no choice but to do it. It could be waiting for someone else to step in and do it for you, or you can’t be bothered, and you’re burying your head in the sand.
How to stop self-sabotaging behaviours
Awareness
Become aware of what your default sabotaging behaviour(s) are. What do you find you automatically do when you have a challenge that’s outside of your comfort zone? Being aware of your patterns will give you the opportunity to change them.
Reflect
Take a minute to reflect on what’s going on here. Is this useful to you? Consider, what are the consequences of continuing this thinking or behaviour? If they don’t support your goals for the future, they need to be addressed.
Decide
Recognise that you do have a choice here, and you can decide whether to continue, or whether to do something different.
You only get one opportunity to use your time, so use it wisely. Make a conscious decision on what your best option is, commit to it and work out a plan of action to make it happen.
FREE Live Webinar – Creating Your Thriving Mindset on Tuesday 14th December at 6pm GMT
If you’re struggling with fears, and your confidence around your ability to find clients and build your holistic business, this is for you.
Discover how to create a thriving mindset and address any limiting beliefs you have that are sabotaging your success.
You’ll learn:
- What your mindset is and how it can sabotage your ability to thrive.
- How to recognise where your mindset is keeping you stuck.
- Simple steps you can implement immediately to build your confidence and resilience.
Places are limited because it’s going to be interactive so be prepared to join in and work along with me – book your place here.
Podcast 94 show notes:
- (02:17) Procrastination
- (03:10) Perfectionism
- (05:25) Busy badge of honour
- (06:7) Putting others’ needs first
- (08:00) Daydreaming and planning
- (08:48) Blaming others
- (09:57) Laziness
- (11:13) How to stop self-sabotaging behaviours
- (12:54) Creating Your Thriving Mindset webinar
